(31 January 2012)
THANKSGIVING FOR 2011.
1. 2K11 blessings
2. Christmas Party
3. Youth Wings Christmas Hatters party for G Kids.
4. Friends that came for the party.
5. Yenny joining our cell group.
6. Shan is growing strong in the cell group.
7. Jessie coming back to join us.
8. Tea party with the youth wings.
9. Having those sessions with the youth wings.
10. 40up campaign.
11. Great results for my studies as the Lord sees the faithfulness I have in him.
12. Knowing more people from church.
13. Knowing each and everyone around me deeper.
14. A new level of faith had birth in me.
15. Given the chance to be a G kids leader.
16. Lots of opportunity given to learnt more things.
Like the Campus encounter camp Logistic helper. Programmer for the Tea party.
Logistic for Christmas Hatters and cell group Christmas party. Leader for doing
40up prayer walk, treasure hunt. Leader for 2k11 campaign.
REFLECTION FOR 2011.
It had been a year of training for me as I was given lots tasks to be done.
Slowly accepting the authority given by the Lord as a leader. Slowly get
involve in Youth Wings as one of the helper to a MC. I was also told that I am
a person that like to be a backstage crew in every event than the main person to
be on the stage performing. I was asked to be in the main performance group to
serve the people out there. I was told and affirm by Si Jia that Narash, Pastor Sook
San and herself do see and recognize the righteousness, faithfulness and ability to
do things on the front scene. There will be more to come in the year of 2012.
There were lots of ups and downs for me throughout the whole of 2011. There's a period
I am very on fire todo lots of things for God. But as the time past I am to focus on the
doing and not the hearing. I am over depending on my flesh than the spirit although 2011
is the year of empowerment from the Holy Spirit. I am not able to read God's word daily due
to my laziness and tiredness. I am over depending on my own wisdom than God's wisdom which I
should rely on. I am not able to have a balance between the doctrine of the Lord and the life
I am living as a Christian.
The verses I want to claim for year 2012.
1. Matthew 11:30
"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
2. 1 Corinthians 2:12
"What we have received is not from the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, so that
we may understand what God has freely given us."
3. Romans 8:5
"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in
accordance with the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit desires."
4. 1 Timothy 4:12
"Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct,
love, faithfulness and purity."
5. 1 Timothy 4:16
"Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both
yourself and your hearers."
(15 February 2012)
2012 ENCOUNTER CAMP PARTICIPANT REFLECTION.
Expectation I have before the camp:
Actually I didn't expect myself going to the camp one week before
so I never really do what pastor call us to do before the camp like
praying for ourselves for the entire week before the camp. I pray
like whole weeks for my cell sisters and brother that is going
for the camp and a few hours before the camp for myself. Normally
I will pray and prepare my heart and set some of the expectation for
the camp. I only think of the camp expectation when I was in the camp
and Si Jia ask each and everyone.
The expectation I set for the camp was to understand why my spiritual
walk keep becoming dry and how can I totally step out of the dryness.
After sharing Si Jia was asking me to reflect and I feel that I don't
feel that I was fully challenge to do things I can't handle. Si Jia
told me it might because I am depend on my own wisdom and strength
on doing things.
Things I take back from the Camp:
On the second day of the camp Mirabel came and she was praying for me
and God just gave her the words that align to what I want to expect from
the camp. God affirm me, take away the inferior feeling I have and teach
me through the prayer Mirabel pray for me.Which psalm 139:14
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well."
was pray over me and pastor also wanted us to recite this verse also.
Through the session on The Joy of Forgiveness I can sense that God
is really working in my life. From the previous Encounter I will pray
that I want to ask for forgiveness from the Lord because I hold grudges
towards my parents, teacher and friends as well as the self pity I have
towards my own image, look,appearance and ability to do things. For the
session this time round I asked God is it all this I should surrender to
him? He show me a vision of a Cross which remain as it is, a wear cap that
changes into a veil which is tear and a Y shape small dustpan and broom
changes into a J shape small dustpan and broom. I was asking God what
does this vision means? God told me that the cross didn't change into
anything means "All sins is finish on the cross." The Cap changes into a
tear veil means "All the self pity, inferior feelings and shame is taken
away. The Y shape dustpan and broom changes into J shape dustpan and
broom means " All the past is cleanse by the name of Jesus. The grudges
I have towards my parents, teachers and friends are taken away in the
name of Jesus. Shan say the dustpan also means "Y" represent "You" which
is me and "J" represent "Jesus". I can depend on Jesus to get rid of my past
and not myself.
Session on Faith to Heal our Soul God shows me that why my Mum
always say very hurtful words to me is because she herself
treated the same way. She herself have the bitterness in her
heart that was caused by my grandmother and she do not know
the power of words.
Different feelings I feel as a participant:
As a logistic helper in the previous camp I feel that my job was very minor
and the effect is very small. But as a participant this time round I feel that
no matter what is our role in the camp we definitely make a different.
As a logistic helper I help to click the slide for worship, unpack the plastic
for meals and giving out of tissue and the cloth during ministry session.
As a participant I help to turn the bible for the new believer in the camp and
sharing of things that God had done for me in the camp which inspire the people
in the camp.
Final though toward the camp:
The Lord always surprise us and provide us with what we can't imagine.
(12 April 2012)
回顾一月到三月发生的事。
一月其实有一种大家都被逼迫到自己的（徐佳莹）的感觉。那些无法全部活动都到场的人 就被要求全部活动都要露面。
那些爱做幕后工作的就被要求做幕前的工作，那些爱做幕前工作的就被逼做幕后的工作。大家都有种被压缩进一个模子
的感觉。我们并不想变成大人们 想要我们变成的样子。大家都很 （Jolin）。在后大家才反应给大人听 事情才告一段落。
我也开始和彩云到教会的儿童组去侍奉，雪儿和山也到了一所中学的女孩童军组去侍奉。大家不约而同的展开了新的生活和
路途。没人知道人们各自会有这样的成长但大家都保持着期待和乐观的心情把每一件事做好。
二月去了一趟露营 认识了不少新朋有，教会的组里也有了一点更动，小妹和燕妮也离开了教会。
三月我们的小组把所有的活动和聚会都安排在星期天 所以我得一个人和我的组长去星期六的聚会听牧师讲经。
但值得开心的事 我的中学同班同学终于来到我的教会一起服务人群，一起得救，一起信主了。想不到我花了
四年跟她传福音 没有徒劳无功。我也在三月五号 考完最后一张试卷 毕业于工艺教育学院。
至于四月就敬请期待～
(16 June 2012)
A WAKE UP CALL FROM THE LORD.
In the middle of this week I actually attend my school's CCA orientation camp which I get to know lots of new people
and not to forget a good chat with a fellow believer which I get to know in the camp. After the three days camp I was
reflecting upon the things I was chatting with "May Fan" a one year fellow believer which is so on fire to serve God and
share how much works and goodness in her life which was provided by God. When I was doing my full hour devotion which I can't
do in the camp God show me a vision and a few pictures.
God show me a steering wheel for a ship which his hand in on the left and mine was on the right.
Secondly he let me recall the Noah Ark which May Fan happened to show me a youtube video about it.
Thirdly was a ship anchor.
So God help me slowly to picture this three things one by one in order.
1. Noah Ark ( Picture)
Interpretation:
The Noah Ark symbolize my perspective as a christian for this period of time which I was stagnate. I was having this
perspective which Christian life suppose to be smooth sailing since we are saved by the Lord. But Christians life will
only get more challenging and difficult than before and the devil will try to attack us and God will want us to grow
deeper with him as he entrust us with more task. As he mold us and slowly reveal to us what is the purpose he has for
our life.
Reflection:
God told me that my heart had turned cold to the world and God as I not discipline spiritually, I became self
centered and self conscious, which God is out of the picture when I do things and plan things.
2. Steering wheel for a ship and the anchor. ( Vision)
I am the assistance captain of the ship but God is the captain, he allow me put one hand on the steering wheel along with
his hands. Through the journey I wanted to take control of the ship which God let go his hand. End up I lose in the sea
as the map is in God's mind. But to my surprise actually God put down the anchor when he let go his hand. The "anchor was
constantly battered by waves and wind, it continued to battered as long as it is anchored in place".
Interpretation:
Through all this God want to tell me that as a Christian which is sitting in a ship, we had to go through bigger waves and
wind but God is in control and he make sure we are save and lose in nowhere.
Reflection:
When I am self centered and self conscious I am simply lose and I do not know should go to the left or right, at this moment
God will put down the anchor to prevent us from drifting to far away from him. When the moment we finally make up our
mind to come back to him or we had discovered the root of the problem, trust him and let him take control of the ship which
is your life. He will "release the anchor and the ship is liberated of the anchor, it free to sail and ahead, with purpose,
free from constant battering." We are ready to face greater waves and wind in life.
After reflecting over all this I was really surprise to realize that:
Firstly God lead me to borrow a Christian book from the library named << The other side of suffering>> by John Ramsey with
Marie Chapian which uses the anchor to elaborate the suffering they had gone through in their life.
Secondly God lead a one year ago Christian May Fan Which i get to know this week from y CCA camp to share with me how fire
up is she for God, she also show me a video which was on the discovery of Noah Ark and the anchor which is form by rock.
Thirdly God show me a vision of a steering wheel with his hand on the left and my hand on the right.
Hope that all of you that read this will be blessed! God Bless You~
(16 August 2012)
JOURNAL WITH GOD WEEK 1...
There had been a season of my life which I spend
most of my time just going through the motion everyday
like a routine. Just do what my leader in church want me to
do, carry out all my duty in church and attending all the church event for the
sake of attending,
I am just like someone sitting in a boat without any direction,
not rowing or paddling the boat at all. Letting the storms, waves and wind
take full control of the direction I am heading towards. In this period of time
my life and feelings are control by problems, people and circumstances I face.
There are times that I am aware and recognized that God came alongside
and accompany me through those big storms to warn, encourage and guide
me to start paddling in a specific direction and speed. Some moment in the
journey God send people to paddle pass me to encourage me. There are
also moments where God send me to help other people to repair their boats
(aimless,hopeless and discourage life), using God's words to speak into their
life. But some boats are really to hard to be fully repair by me alone so I leave
it to God to repair.
As the time passes, the restlessness just started to cling in again. Which God
know that the best way to get me out of that mode totally is not to destroy my
boat and let me ended in the water with a floating plank in the middle of the sea
because I know how to get save or repair my boat myself and our God is a
gracious God so he will not let me land in that kind of situation. The best option
is to add people in my boat which I had to take full responsibility of their life, I
had to keep my boat condition and stability ( my walk and relationship with God)
at its best at all times. My walk with God must be close, stable and
strong in order to sail in the right direction and speed with the
people (kids) on my ship.
At some point of time God know that I am transferring all the kids to the other
leader's ship where I get back to the restless mode again. So God decided to
put me on full responsibility of the life of the kids again by letting the other two
leaders to leave. Which in the process God also slowly helping me to upgrade,
reconstruct and replace some of my favorite part and compartments (inner life,
character, weakness,hidden sins and things that I take pleasure in.) of my
boat that had already gone outdated, rusty, damaged which had taken up lots
of space in the boat. As God lead me to write out all this is like digging out the
treasure box that is covered with dust and spiderweb that had been forgotten by
me at the corner of the ship. In the treasure box there are several gems that
represent my gifts of words of encouragement and my reflective character.
In conclusion God is helping me to regain my reflective character,
which I am able to work well with God to slowly give up all the
hidden sins, bad habit and weakness in me so as to become a
better leader in Gkids.
Other people might find that doing more devotion can help them
to grow better. But as for me the best way is to pen down my
reflection. As I reflect God will just show me some picture and
vision as metaphor. God give me a purpose to have a stable walk
with him by paddling constantly, by laying down the basic foundation
of the kids so that they can journey with God closely and strongly in
future.
(8 October 2012)
#1 有感而发的想法
九月十二号 2012
我最近发现了一个新的现像那就是 人们太过于在意自己外表的改变
而忽略心境上的改变和成长。或许是因为人类是视觉动物 所以对看
的到的事物比较感兴趣。 我发现我们都忽略文字和心灵层面的力量。
虽然画面和图像能够带来很大的画面感，无线的想象空间和无线可能。
文字带来的感动更难以形容，更刻骨铭心，感动的点和温度不一样。
文字能让妳痛哭流涕在相交于画面带来的感伤。但两者都需要一个
故事的起承转合来堆积那个感伤的情绪，不然一切都很不合理。这
两者都是很厉害的工具但它们都需要很强的工匠使用和驾驭它们。
其实一切万物都拥有自己的功能和力量但未必每个人都能发觉他们
潜在的才能和天赋或使命。。。
#2 有感而发的想法
九月十六号 2012
其实不管我们有没有一个宗教信仰， 有一些道理
我们还是知道的。 例如最基本的对于错，左于右，
道理和歪理。唯一让我们变的不一样的是我们心里
的那把尺和我们的价值观。我们都知道成功的要点
就是要付出行动和努力。但有多少人真的知道，要
付出多少才能得到他们真正想要，渴望的 ？ 我
觉得没有人知道，只有上帝知道因为游戏规则是
祂定的。有些人只要付出一点努力就能得到他们
想要的因为 他们对自己的要求不高或 他们在起
跑点就赢人家很多。有一些人是付出很多但回想
不大因为 他们对自己的要求太高导致他们压力
过大 影响了他们的表现。也有可能他们的努力
的方向错了，他们压错了重点 或忽略了一些小
小的细节。往往那些不停努力的人是比较靠近
成功的，重点出在意志力的拿捏和掌控。作为
一个基督徒我们至少有个目标 虽然我们的路途
并没有变得更轻松 但我们知道我们累了 能到
上帝爸爸的同在里休息。我们的世界里不是只
存在满满的我 但是满满的祂与我们同在。我们
的力量来源和精神粮食来至于祂。唯有祂我们
才能变成和成就现在的我和未来的我。 当我
顺顺利利的随着那河流往前进我知道上帝正在
陪着我往前进， 我不需要担心前面的路有多
难走 因为我知道上帝会在前面带领我，当我的
GPS。
#3 突发奇想。。。
九月二十四号 2012
我们这一生中到底 会花多少时间和 文字和影像接触和交流？文字和影像
各自都有很强大的力量。 有些东西，情感，情节和环境是文字能表达的影
像不能表达的。但这两者都能用在一起去表达 一首歌曲或 一个戏剧 想要
传达的讯息。这两者放在一起撞击和拼筹出来的作品是能 造就非常难以想
象的强大影响力的。所以人们才会利用影片来宣传他们的活动。虽然音乐是
用音符作为基础 但少了文字的力量，画面感和感动度就差很多。我虽然不会
写作，唱歌，作词，作曲，画画或录影。但我知道它们的力量很强大 因为我
认识创造它们的上帝。 上帝创造了万物 也创造了它们 因为上帝是一个非常
有创意的神。上帝创造了 这些是要用来造福人类的， 让人类能够知道，看见
和得到祂的爱。上帝要我们能过得到祂的爱，活在祂的道路，真理和永生里。不
在被撒旦所欺骗，捆绑和蒙蔽我们的眼睛。上帝要我们得到真正和踏实的自由，
喜乐，平安和平静。 但往往撒旦都会用这些 好的东西做不好的事。所以我们
都很需要很小心的去审核和慎选我们看，听，读，说和做的一切。我们越要靠近
神的同在，话语，工作或祷告撒旦越要阻止我们去做。所以我们需要非常专注和
专心的在神的同在，话语和家庭里一天一天茁壮成长。每天都要朝神的模样迈进
一步，因为像由心生。
(12 June 2013)
时间 机会 时机 都 不等人! 活在当下 把握时间！时间让我们回不去～
我最近就在想 我的朋友 到底会不会 后悔当初 乖乖听了爸妈的话 读了不是 自己第一志愿的学校？
而导致现在 并没有很好的前途 所以才去读 私立的大学。 但想想或许 冥冥中自有安排 我朋友在那所学校
也被神大大的使用了。她是第一个在初级学院开设 祷告小组的组长， 因为她的发想 和热忱 造就了 现在
每所学校的祷告小组。 我的这位朋友 鼓励我继续加油 不要放弃 当上我的学校的祷告小组的组长 因为我
是由上帝拣选的。 我的那位友人 也跟我提过 她本来是要进我的 学校的大众传媒 但父母不想她那么做。
想想如果她忤逆了她的父母 她也许不会是现在的她。成为那么自信 那么壮的基督徒了。。。
我的另一个朋友而是好不容易 从工艺学院毕业 进到理工学院 但因为课业压力太大 决定休学。我在想作为
跟她经历过一样道路的朋友，她不会后悔自己做的这个决定吗？她也没有参加课外活动， 打工 或在一些
社会中心 或 跟宗教有关的团体服务， 时间和压力对她来讲 应该不会让她无法喘息吧？ 我有同学需要打工
也还是 继续能力不放弃的读下去。我自己有两个课外活动，学校的祷告小组组长，教会的小组组员 和
教会小孩的组长 那么多职责 我也没有说要放弃学业休学阿。
以上的两个案例 一个正面 一个负面， 一个选择面对 一个选择放弃 我会这么看待自己的情况那？
两位以上提到的友人 都和我同年纪 但想法和成熟度大不相同。一个是北极， 一个南极 而我是在中间地带。
我也和第一朋友一样把一切的事和职责都往自己的身上揽，我也有放弃一些我觉得我无法尽力参与的事和职责。
我想我需要的不是时间喘息或抓住啊 而是选择去 放手 释怀 不但靠自己的力量和智慧 试着去相信 那双看不到的手 能带领我。
我的力量的智慧是是有限的 但住在我里面的上帝是无限的。
(27 August 2013)
A DIFFERENT JOURNEY I HAD FOR YEAR 2013.
Times really flies where more than half a year had gone by~
Many things changes over time for the better to come.
1. Step down from the Ngee Ann Polytechnic prayer point coordinator
role after two to three months of leading it alone with my own strength and
wisdom rather than God's strength and wisdom. Everything did not work out
because I did not seek help from other prayer point member. I only do prayer
out of the 4 "W" I am given in the email I am send every week.
This prayer point got better when I step down and Chris as the leader,
Suet Li, Esther and me being his co partner leading the different part
of the "W". From there I slowly see the important and key character trait
a leader should have which I am lack of from Chris. Although I disagree at
times of certain things he is doing but I admit I should voice out in order to
let all things turn out better. Some times I think that although I am not the
prayer coordinator anymore for Ngee Ann Polytechnic but I am somehow still
a leader that the freshies look up to where I need to take ownership of this
community I am place in this campus. I shouldn't have let myself get back to
the follower role again. But I was still given roles like leading of ice- breaker,
sharing of words and logistic head, I was also given the opportunity to lead the
prayer slot for the prayer tower anchor by the ZeoGen Polytechnic youths.
Really looking forward to the outcome of the Eat, Pray, Love and Live Out Love~
There is also a increase in the numbers of freshies in the prayer point.
2. Been a Gkids leader had also not been a easy job to me as I do not have enough
confident to even lead the prayer point don't even think of leading the children which has
lesser attention span. But thank God Cai Yun is around to discipline them while I do the
teaching and lesson. I really don't know how much things I had done or teach speaks to them
and take roots in their hearts. But I really hope that the children see my heart as I serve them
with the wisdom that is from the Lord. Really thank God for stirring the interest in me towards
their physical and spiritual life. Thank God for blessing and trusting Cai Yun and me with more
children. I think it is really a privilege to be able to serve as one of the backstage crew for the Easter
event which I get to know more people from different Gkids service and some levites. Been a guide
in the Gkids Barnabas encounter and guide in the super camp was awesome although I was not
able to be with my girls throughout the camp. Thank God that Chloe was able to invite one of her friend
to come for 1014 Rise Of The Warriors.
3.New cell group.
After splitting cell with Narash cell group last October we was alone for two to three months after having
a combine Christmas blessing at a old folk home together with Michelle, Denise and Wei Ling cell group.
With this combine group we went to bless a old folk home with balloon sculpt into a flower and dog, as well
as our Christmas carols. We went on to combine as a cell group with four leader Si Jia, Michelle, Denise
and Wei Ling but Si Jia been the key leader.
I actually has a mixed of feeling working together with Michelle's girls because we use to be in the same
cell group like three years back.I think starting is kind of weird but as the time pass back I think the ice are
break and we are all warm up again. I manage to feel the closeness with all of them again as I play and joke
with them along the way.I manage to know Kai Yee better as she coach all of us on the balloon sculpture we are
doing for the elderly in the old folks home.
Michelle is always a leader that I can find lots of encouragement and affirmation from because she always speak
with a sincere tone. Michelle seems to be a good listener.Working with Denise and Wei Ling is really something
different which I am kind of looking forward to because I heard a lot of interesting thing about them. Both of them
give me the feeling that they are very courageous in reaching out. Wei Ling really encourage me when she share
how she started the prayer point in her school even before she is equip with any skills from encounter or any
equipping class from church. She teaches me the important of having a heart for the people that do not know the
Lord in the campus we are in. Denise was one of the leader I work closely to reach out to my friend before we combine
cell which I am always comfort working with. Denise is also one of the leader that really coach me on my worship skills
as I lead worship in cell group, tribe meeting in march and tribe leader's retreat in August. I learnt how to chose songs,
changing the chords and ways to lead the people in worship. I think as I lead I start to gain more confident in leading
worship not because I know what to say or what to do but the experience I had gain over the mistakes I have make and
how Denise and Si Jia help me to continue. It seems that Si Jia been my leader for so many years I don't really have anymore
things to learnt from her but after thinking the answer is no. I think I had to learnt from Si Jia to be bold in sharing her
awesome testimony with people around her. Thank God that Denise is the guitarist as I lead for tribe meeting and
tribe leader retreat which helps to boast my confident.
Claudia is always a girl that I was bump into in the shopping center because we live quite near each other.
I always have the impression that Claudia is a very quiet and calm girl that is very trustworthy to all task
that is been pass to her. I still remember I always get to see her in Kelly Chia cell group with her close friends.
The first time I get to know her better is through youthwings as we help to prepare the party for the Gkids children
and Sook San start to call her "Ms Cool" because she is very calm and steady. Claudia became one of the cell sister
I am close with because we always go home together with the same bus. We get to have quality time on the bus
to listen and talk about some interesting story that had taken place in our life. I get to know that actually Claudia
has lots of story to share and many interesting people she get to know. Claudia really have a very kind and passionate
heart as she serve the cancer patients in NUH. Claudia is also one of the guitarist I work with in cell that has lots of
funny moment together. Leading worship with Claudia, Cherie and Denise is really awesome~ Really learnt lots of things
from them as I lead worship with them.
4.New Role In Tribe.
I understand that Sook San and all my leader see my heart and the potential in me to be a leader as they give me opportunity
like helping in the decoration in the last year tribe meeting. They also chose me to be in the youthwing as program assistance
and MC for the party. They even chose me to lead worship for this year first tribe meeting and the tribe leader retreat worship.
I was actually given lots of help from Sally, Dun Ling and Denise as I lead worship each time. And for the next tribe meeting
I will also be leading the worship again. I don't know how much I myself had improve but all the leaders around me say that they
can see the confident and improvement in me leading the worship which I want to give thanks to the Lord.
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